Manifesto

The Baron’s Manifesto for the Welsh Assembly Election on Thursday 5th May 2016.  We remain open to suggestions (click here)

Policy suggestions received 2015-16

All street lights to be replaced by disco lights

(thanks Barry Paul)

caravanAnyone found causing an obstruction in the Gower lanes through fear of ‘hedging’ their new caravan will be dunked in custard
(Thanks Bee)

Build a bridge from Gower to Cornwall – share the neighbourly love

(Thanks Fred and Lloyd)

When elected we will give free ice cream to all pensioners during July and August

We will give triple nectar points on all income taxnectar_banner and national insurance payments

We will give all dog owners glittery poo bags in December which will look more festive when hanging in the trees

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If you believe that Cardiff Bay is out of touch with the general public, you must vote Loony – you know it makes sense.
When elected, we will form a coalition with the  “I want my bin emptied every week party” 

Exchequer policies

Clock     Politicians say, ‘time for change’.   Loonies say, ‘introduce a Welsh 99p coin’.dog2

Ban greyhound racing in Wales – this will stop the country going to the dogs’

Devolved Health policies Hospital bed2

It must be realised that the NHS is grossly underfunded and that people need to be prepared to pay up.  Accommodation management needs to be outsourced to  Premier Inn

dominos_logoHospital catering to be outsourced to Domino Pizzas.  They will be able to provide for vegetarian and non-vegetarian diets and will have a distinct advantage when barrier
nursing in that they can be slid under the door.
Thanks Jonathan

 

Constitutional policies

LiesBaron Fullstop is a new national party member and is campaigning to stop politicians using the full stop, that way instead of lots of little ‘porkie pies ‘we get ‘one big one’.Jail1

The Westminster  Parliament should be relocated to Wormwood Scrubs, reducing the commuting  costs for most Peers and MPs – thanks to WolfBaginski

ComputerAssembly Members to be selected annually by ERNIE ( Electronic Random Number Indicator Equipment) – Thanks Dewi

 

NO SUSTENANCE EXPENSES to be paid or tax relief granted to persons with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 25 or over.

Ballot BoxELECTION DATE:  The date for the Assembly election is set for May, every four years. Loonies suggest it would be more suitable to change this date to 1st April every year.

Environmental policies

GLOBAglobalL WARMING – drivers could limit the effects of global warming by putting their air conditioning on full blast and driving round with the windows open.  Thanks Michael 

All assistance dogs in Wales to carry photo-ID – Thanks Breni            Guide dog1

Penny farthingAll old bicycles must be recycled – Thanks Beth

M4 to be straightened out thus saving fuel – Thanks Harry                  Motorway

dog poo 1
DOG MESS – A luminosity additive to be put into dog food which would make dog-logs glow in the dark.

Law and order policies

The Prison Service needs to be more financially efficient and find paying work for the prisoners so that they can make a contribution to society.  If the unions require membership, so be it.

ASBOS to be abolished and young offenders to be super-glued together. People If you can’t beat them join them.

PRJail2ISONERS to receive the minimum wage when carrying out work in the prisons. Previously the trade unions have fought this idea on the grounds that prisons would be a source of cheap labour thus providing unfair competition for work normally carried out by their members. In truth, a living wage would help prisoners to value their contribution to society and also provide means for them to pay the bed and breakfast charges we would be imposing.

Some subjects are beyond levity:

Swansea City Council’s proposal, to sell off school playing fields, ranks as more than loony.Football The physical and mental development of our children must not be impeded.  Apart from the obvious benefits of fresh air and exercise, where are our successful young athletes of the future to come from?

Make sure your Community and County Councillors are aware of the fact that you will be taking into account their position on this issue when next given the opportunity to vote in local and national elections.

Help our farmers

farmer - cowMinimum price for milk, say £1 a pint, to be applied in supermarkets.

Transport policies

Public Transport, especially in the rural areas, is another big issue which is obvious to those in the country but of no interest to those in the home counties.eurostar

All trains to Brussels to be fuelled by gravy.

bus

All bendy buses to be straightened out.

Picture1

Capital punishment to be re-introduced and applied to people parking their cars on pavements

 

railway station

Beeching gave everyone a cold with his transport cuts.  The Baron wants to see Loughor Railway Station re-opened.
Remove all yellow parking lines and just have lines where you can park.  (Saves loads of paint) – Thanks Mike

Some potholes are big enough to bath in!

POTHOLES NOT TO BE REPAIRED BY LOCAL AUTHORITIES.  This will slow traffic without the cost of installing speed humps.

(Some potholes are large enough to bath in.)   Thanks Keith

 

LOCAL ISSUE – All traffic lights in Wales to be permanently traffic lightsgreen. [Especially Gorseinon High St.]   Thanks ‘Angry Lady’ 

Education policies

If students are to earn a living wage, then they must leave school with a certificated education that is relevant to industry.  

examsSCHOOL CURRICULUM  –  Maths and French to be replaced by food hygiene certificate level 3. This will give young people a better chance of finding a job after leaving school. First aid certificates and theory of driving could be added.

help tourism & share the neighbourly love.  Thanks to Fred and Lloyd

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CAN YOU TO SUGGEST A POLICY?
You can contact us via Email at gowerloonies@aol.com to make your own policy suggestions for us to consider.  We will publish approved policy suggestions on this website, which is updated regularly.  Please be aware that we do not denigrate any individual or culture.
© Gower Constituency 2016 of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, which is a registered political party in the UK.

Policy Suggestions

  1. As a mark of respect for the imperial British establishments symbolic ‘ figure-head’ head of state, all mere subjects (that’s me and you) to unconditionally offer support for the regime and swear allegiance to the head of the ‘Windor’ (of the Saxe Copurg Gotha bloodlines) household (aka Elizabeth Windsor) annually on the 30th February. The penalty for anyone failing to preform this most rightful of civic duties to be transportation for seven years, on the next banana boat.

  2. 4 Beauties:
    1. Move beach in to create more beach-side properties
    2. Make Gower less accessible to tourists
    3. Build a bridge to Cornwall – share the neighborly love
    4. Shuttle hovercraft

  3. Anyone found causing an obstruction in the Gower lanes through fear of ‘hedging’ their new caravan to be dunked in custard

  4. I believe all people who are from anywhere other than Wales deserve to be punished via firing squad. (Paintball obviously, I don’t want to kill them, who do you think I am) Also I believe people whom are as smart as me deserve a PhD in Medicine at birth. Also all people who want to talk to/about me have to refer to me as Lord Peter Swain

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